Lavender Rain

My husband thinks I always have to be obsessed with something. He says that I have gone through so many different obsessions. At one point, I was obsessed with the Backstreet Boys. Then writing fanfictions… and then Final Fantasy… then comes The Sims 2, producing Vanity High. And then, there’s scrapbooking. He says right now, my current obsession is baking/cake decorating. He says he’s going to give me about a year and see how interested I am on baking and cake decorating.

I don’t know… Every time I am interested in something and go after it, I put my heart and soul into it. I dedicate a lot of my time towards a certain interest. I’m a passionate person. Also, I love to try new things. I want to see if I’m able to do it or not. I’m a Jill of all trades! Not sure if I like to be called that, but it’s kind of true. I already told my husband what I would like to try after cake decorating. I want to do beading and sewing next. But right now, cake decorating is number one in my hobby list. He thinks I should stop accumulating hobbies! I am also hoping that I stick to baking and cake decorating for a really long time. I believe that it’s one of the more useful hobbies that I have ever acquired. Not only I get to be creative, but I get to share what I made with other people and they enjoy it! I really have high hopes. I think that I’m going to be baking and cake decorating for a really really long time. But then again, we shall see.

I’m very grateful to have lived through 2009 and I’m very much looking forward to what 2010 may bring. I have learned a lot in 2009, and I think I did grow a bit. Being a mother is teaching me a lot. Overall, I’m quite happy with what I’ve accomplished in 09. I just can’t believe another decade has gone by… It will be almost 10 years since I graduated from High School. Where did time go? I can still remember when I was the “child” and going to school and getting into trouble from my parents like they all just happened yesterday. Now I am the parent and the one that has the responsibility to discipline a child. Oh how I wish that I did more things in life… which gives me a reason to have a few New Years Resolutions this year. I’m going to enjoy life more.

God has taught me so much. I know that I have turned away from Him and living my life in a way that isn’t pleasing to His eyes, but I’m glad that I could come to Him at any time. He is always faithful even when I’m not. That’s why we all need His grace… heck, I know I really need it, because I’m such a moron. lol… I am going through things mentally and emotionally and God is helping me to get back on my feet. I’m really grateful for God’s provision…

Another resolution? I’m going to drink milk on a regular basis and also eat healthier. God is keeping me alive and healthy so that I could function in life. I also realized that I’m starting to become lactose intolerant as I haven’t been drinking much milk since I got married… We don’t have milk in the house because Josh is lactose intolerant. Zoe will only drink breast milk or chocolate milk. Another reason why it’s a good idea for me to drink more milk is because I realized that my knees have become weak. I think I need to do jumping jacks to strengthen my legs and feet! I’m really out of shape.

I realized that I have been posting a lot about baking and cake decorating. I felt that these posts seem to be out of place in this blog. For that very reason, I decided to create a separate blog that is only related to baking and cake decorating. From now on, all topics about baking will be posted on Cakes by Kristine. I don’t want to purchase a separate domain and web space for that blog yet. I have a lot of space on this so why not.

I digress. I had the strangest dream again. It kind of freaked me out, but also made me sad. I don’t feel like repeating it here. I have been thinking about the health of others, especially loved ones. Life is indeed too short. Now nobody died from my family, but it’s just something that I’ve been thinking a lot about and I know that I have to be ready for that. As a believer in Christ, we are taught that death is a very beautiful thing for a believer. God is happy when a Christian dies, because once his soul leaves his physical body, he is face to face with the Lord. I don’t fear death itself, but I fear what manner I’m going to die. I’d rather die in my sleep or because of old age. I am afraid of dying in a way that is painful and in a matter of slowly torturing you physically and mentally. God is the only one who knows how much time I have on earth. He only knows the time and manner of my death. God knows how everyone is going to die…

I wonder who is going to go home first… me or my husband? I will be very lonely without him, especially if I’m old. Life is really short… I really can’t take it for granted… anyway, I apologize about the topic of this post. It is a little depressing. So I’m going to share some photos from my husband’s kid’s Christmas party that was held in Galaxyland.

I love the Internet, because I have met many interesting individuals online. I made a lot of good friends here. Being a stay-at-home mom who has to plan a wedding and who has to manage some eCommerce sites is tough. I don’t have a car so I can’t just go out. I’m always stuck at home so the Internet is really keeping my sanity. It gets pretty lonely here being home all day. I wish my friends were also moms, but I’m the first mom so I don’t really have any mommy friends.

Anyways, I just play World of Warcraft when I get bored and when I feel lonely… but I don’t even talk to anyone there. Hah…

Why do I get the feeling that my attitude sucks right now? Um, ’cause maybe it does.

I have been thinking a lot lately… about how life altering having a baby is. I used to live a selfish life before my daughter entered my life. It was all about me. Now that I think about it, my previous life consisted of a lot of shopping trips and dining out with Josh. I enjoyed life for myself. And I have come to the conclusion that it was a big waste of life and time when I did those things. But there were times when I chose to spend my time carefully by learning more about God, by studying His Word. I listened to the teachings by my pastor-teacher. Those were the times that I have grown and changed to be a better person for Him. All those have been worth my time. But shopping for hours on end was a big waste of my time indeed. I am looking at my closet full of clothes that I no longer fit in anymore. This was all a big waste. But hey, at least I learned from it. I had fun wearing those clothes and I had precious memories wearing them. Good times, good times. I’m not saying that there’s something wrong with shopping and dining out. Today those 2 activities are a big treat for me now. I hardly leave the house to go out. I can’t just get up and go. I don’t have that same type of freedom anymore.

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